Raising Coachable Field Hockey Players

When coaches and parents work together

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the word coachable. It gets thrown around all the time in youth sports, but we don’t always stop to unpack what it really means or how we actually help kids develop it. Coachability isn’t something players either have or don’t have. It’s taught. It’s modeled. And it grows best when coaches and parents are aligned.

Here’s what that looks like in real life.

Why coachability matters

Coachability is more than just listening. It’s resilience, curiosity, and ownership. Coachable athletes tend to:

• Learn new skills faster

• Recover more quickly from mistakes

• Contribute to a healthier, more positive team culture

Those traits matter just as much as speed, strength, or stick skills.

Set clear expectations early

Players can’t meet expectations they don’t understand. From the start, be clear about:

• What being coachable looks like: listening, trying again, positive body language

• Why effort and attitude matter as much as results

• The fact that coaches and parents are learning too. None of us have this fully figured out

When adults model coachability, kids follow.

Develop a growth mindset

Language matters. Small shifts make a big difference.

• Use the word yet: “You haven’t mastered this skill yet.”

• Praise effort, adjustments, and grit, not just goals and wins

• Normalize mistakes. Call them what they are: learning reps

Players who aren’t afraid to mess up are the ones who improve the most.

Teach them how to take feedback

Kids aren’t born knowing how to handle critique. This has to be taught and practiced.

A simple framework that works well is Ask–Tell–Ask:

1. Ask: “How did that feel?”

2. Tell: “Here’s something I noticed…”

3. Ask: “What’s one thing you could try next time?”

This keeps feedback collaborative instead of corrective.

Make feedback a habit

Feedback shouldn’t only show up after games.

• Give it often, during training and in small moments

• Balance praise with clear suggestions

• Encourage teammates to support and coach each other

When feedback is normal, it stops feeling personal.

Challenge them with purpose

Being coachable doesn’t mean being comfortable.

• Use game-like drills that require thinking and adjusting

• Push players just past their comfort zone

• Always explain why a drill or correction matters

Understanding the purpose builds trust and buy-in.

Support emotional regulation

Emotions are part of sport. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away.

• Let players know frustration is okay and help them name it

• Recognize and praise bounce-backs

• Make space for quick 1-on-1 conversations when needed

Learning to reset is a skill, just like passing or tackling.

Normalize emotions in your team culture

• Talk openly about how feedback helps us grow

• Share your own struggles or moments you had to reset

• Celebrate players who respond with effort and a positive attitude

This sends a clear message about what the team values.

Give players responsibility

Ownership builds confidence and commitment. Try letting players:

• Lead warm-ups or stretches

• Communicate directly with coaches about injuries or how they’re feeling

• Take charge of a team role like pre-game setup or equipment

Small responsibilities add up to big growth.

Use video as a mirror

Video is powerful when it’s used the right way.

• Share short clips of both strong moments and tough ones

• Ask questions like, “What do you notice?” or “What could you change?”

• Let players guide the reflection

The goal isn’t judgment. It’s awareness.

Final thought

Coachability isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill we develop together. When coaches, parents, and players are on the same page, athletes feel supported, challenged, and confident enough to grow.

And that’s where the real progress happens.